


Affection

by TheSilentUnderworld



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 23:05:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2406179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilentUnderworld/pseuds/TheSilentUnderworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Want and need can only be ignored for so long, and Dean regrets the fact he ever did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affection

Kind isn’t a word to be used with an angel. Angels are soldiers, monsters sent from heaven to carry out god or like beings retribution. They held tight onto their weapons and slayed those deemed evil or unworthy, never asking why or how or if.

But Castiel was Kind. He was a soldier, yes, a monster sent from heaven to carry out god or like beings retribution, of course. But he had changed. He had flipped sides and in that shifted the tides of war.

Not, did he rebel for hell, not for purgatory or humanity or ghouls or leviathans- no.

But for Dean Winchester.

For free will, and making your life your own.

For falling in love- and Castiel had admitted as soon as the revelation had hit that it was indeed love.

Dean, however… well, Castiel didn’t know about Dean. Sometimes he was close, so close, other times far, beyond Castile's reach even if only inches separated them. There was no way to tell if he loved Castiel back, especially for an angel with no people skills such as him.

And that might be how he found himself leaned on  the hood of the Impala, looking vacantly down at the dark dirt road as the brothers Sam and Dean bicker and banter and slowly, oh-so-slowly the turmoil becomes screaming- and screaming becomes empty threats that they both take seriously.

And then Sam is gone, far down the dark wood-lined road, beyond the reach of the Impalas headlights. But there, in those bright lights, Dean is seething. For how much the brothers say that they are all they have, and they have to stick together, they sure run each other off often.

“Dean.” Castiel said softly, half plea and half command for him to cool down.

Dean spun around, having been pacing back and forth indecisively searching for next move. “What Cas.” He almost snapped, and oh how Castiel hated his tone. When someone you care for is harsh it's the salt in the wound.

“Deep breaths, cowboy.” The angel repeated calmly, monotone of monotones leaving his lips in a repetition of some sarcastic comment Dean had probably made years ago.

“I can’t- Cas you know he was wrong right?”

And Castiel was silent. To him, all of their banter was incorrect and pointless and too much like home. They were invested in one of the most important events since the great flood, and Dean and Sam still found the time to have little tiffs like this.

“That is not the point, Dean, please calm down.”

“I don-“

“Dean.”

And Dean sighed, but not to let out steam- nothing as kind. To breathe out fire, to hiss a hundred hail marries out in anger. “I am tired of this!” He yelled. “I am tired of being told to calm down or do this or that!”

And as his only defense Castiel stared silently at him. He understood that feeling. The feeling of having no will, no options or freedom. Nothing but orders and duty.

But that is not what gave Castiel a pit in his stomach.

“Do you even care?!”

It was that little line that hollowed Castiel’s nerves entirely.

How could Dean even insinuate that he didn’t…

So with little more than a quick decision he was sure he would regret and the rustle of trench coat, Castiel’s arms were around Dean’s waist and they were in an embrace.

Now Dean... Dean had absolutely no idea what to do.

His hands laid slack a moment before raising, and debating their next action. Hold him? That would be really gay though I mean, this wasn’t Sam and- and that made it gay right? Dean couldn’t do that, no, that would just be-

Well, he hadn’t thought about it before his anger subsided and his hands embraced the ever so slightly shorter man.

For a moment, obligation and teachings, fear and instinct, all of it melted away with bodies pressed together and hearts racing.

“Dean.”

“Cas.”

And silence.

Before Dean pulled back- like he were disgusted- like he were afraid. Because he was afraid.

“What the hell Cas?!”

“I just-“

“You know I don’t like being touched by like, dudes, dude!”

“Dean I-“

And Dean turned, facing away from Castiel in a way that made Castiel’s heart sink. He sat there in a burning sorrow until that revelation found him again, and boiled its way up his spine and through his organs,  into his heart and past his grace- and finally, it jumped from his mouth.

“I love you.”

Which made Dean do a double take. “You… love me…?”

“Yes Dean.” Castiel admitted, in a way a child might to a white lie. “I have for a long, long time.”

Silence fell again, and Dean was… everything. Terrified, overjoyed, angry, happy, scared, amazed-

Too much too quick. It left him spinning, and if Castiel were human he would have said something to lighten the mood, backed out and said it was a joke maybe; But Castiel was not human.

"I'm sorry." He said slowly, because he was. He may be beyond sexuality but humans weren't, he knew humans weren't, how could he think Dean was? He got the regret and remorse telling him what he did wrong so loud in his head that before he knew it Deans mouth was on his and their bodies were square against each other closer than close.

Dean's mind was the last thing to catch up to his heart as he kissed Castiel breathless, pressing him back onto the Impala and grinding against him. He drew away for air and for explanation only when he had to under threat of suffocation. "I love you too." He breathed into the angels collar, and then he was back at it, now not really giving a damn what conservative shit his dad instilled in him or how synonymous a lady killer he was- even if just moments ago he would have gladly never have spoken about this again.

He had wanted, needed this, for too long. Love and lust and need can only be suppressed for so long, and when he saw the drop in Castiel's eyes, the pure sadness and sorrow at rejection; that broke the barrier between how he felt and how he was taught.

There wasn't any time before Castiel found a rhythm by which to kiss and rutt, let hands slide and mouths join. For something so inhuman he sure knew which buttons to press, and although he thoroughly enjoyed it Dean didn't want to know how.

"Do you want to-"

"Yes."

"Do you know what I-"

" _Yes_."

"Do you know how to-"

" _YES_."

Dean grinned before clothing started falling, scattering the ground like shotgun shells, there was no one for miles minus Sam and he was headed in the opposite direction, and the two of them were caught up in the moment. The cool metal of the Impala met the small of Castiel's back and the warmth of Deans shoulders met the inside of his knees in one heated motion. Body's found relief in each other, release in a way Dean would curse himself for denying himself- but more importantly hearts found things they both had craved, had always craved, and never gotten.

Love. Attention. Affection.

They had been starved of it. One by an absent father and another by an overbearing one. However, subpar parents didn't matter in this moment, hands intertwining and love marks being laid. Nothing did besides the other and the little shutters they made as orgasm crept up on them.

And when it was said and done, climaxes reached and post pleasure faded, they kissed again. Just something swift, soft and sweet. Something binding, and more important than any lust filled ones before. Something hidden in a grin and shown in a smile before they gathered their clothing and headed off to find Sam's stupid ass.

So, Castiel concluded as he watched trees run by from the passenger seat, having felt the uncanny urge to stay with Dean after what had just transpired rather than poofing off,  storms were always coming in their lives. Legions of demons and myriads of angels would never be off their tracks. But now, it was different. In seconds and kisses it had changed.

Now here was something to be a constant. A body to hold, a person to love; something more than obligation to protect.

In short, there was an angel and a hunter.

And they were happy.

 


End file.
